January 1, 2012

Finally...

This season has been tough. It seems like fate, life or whatever you want to call it has decided to do everything it can to prevent me from spending time in the woods. Granted, some of the things I've done I've deliberately chosen over spending time in the stand. Those things i do not regret! For example, of course my family has been my top priority...time spent with loved ones will always trump time spent in a tree!

But even the enjoyable things have drained me. My emotional well is running dry. I've felt pulled in too many directions this season. I have mostly felt surrounded and inundated by life's noise. The things I want to do and the things I feel like I have to do are rarely on the same path lately. The thing is, I don't know what to do about it.

I realized on my way to the stand this afternoon that this is probably the least time I've hunted since I began this journey. What the hell is wrong with me? I'm furious with myself but truly don't know what I could have done to change anything. I feel helpless to change it and that infuriates me.

I was determined to hunt today. It's the first day of a new year. I refused to allow the noise of my life overwhelm me and prevent me from doing what I love on this day. So FINALLY I'm in a stand. At this point that's going to have to be enough.