HOLY CRAP!

Billie invited me to hunt with her on her lease.  She neglected to tell me that I’d be in a lock on stand 75 feet in the air. 

First thing: I am TERRIFIED of heights.  Here I was thinking I was badass because I've been 12 feet up in the air in a ladder stand.  I was mistaken.

Second thing: I am SHORT and CHUNKY! Climbing sticks are not made for me.

Pride can be a fairly strong motivator.  We crept through the darkness to arrive at the stand.  It was beautifully placed between two green fields.  She assured me I would definitely see deer.  I stood at the base of the tallest tree in the WORLD and tried not to poop my pants.  There was no way I was wussing out.  And so, I climbed.

About half way up I began to have second thoughts.  Pride goeth before the fall.  I was pretty sure I was about to be a literal example of that.  I was sucking wind, sweat POURING down my neck, CERTAIN I was about to die when I spotted the platform.  Oh beautiful safety.  But wait, what’s that I see?  A LIMB!

A mother trucking LIMB! That I was going to have to somehow throw my short legs OVER to get into the stand. 

Billie was below me, quietly encouraging me.  I began to seriously question our friendship.  Had I somehow angered her?  Did she secretly hate me?

Somehow, I can’t tell you how but I managed to get into the stand and immediately CLUNG to the tree for dear life.  I finally secured my harness and turned around and sat.  Once my heartbeat had quieted in my ears, I heard Billie below.

“You ok?”

“Yep. Just great!”

“Ok, I’ll be back for ya in a bit.  Good luck.”

I was pretty sure I’d emptied my luck bucket on the climb up.

I had a wonderful hunt.  Turns out I was only 14 feet up.  I saw three does and a young buck.  Unfortunately none were within bow range.  Despite that it was a good day.

Around 11, Billie came back to rescue get me.  Holy crap!  I’d forgotten about down.  What comes up, must come down?

I considered asking her to call the fire department.  She gamely climbed up and then climbed down with me.  Good friends are hard to come by! 

I am certain that neither my climbing up OR down was pretty sight.  But I am proud to say, I did it!

This is me.  Wishing I had my inhaler.  And longer legs.